God's Law Regarding Divorce
As we noticed in the previous section, God established marriage and designed it to be a life-long relationship between a man and woman. Sadly, our society, as well as many around the world, does not view marriage this way. Many see marriage as a temporary arrangement that we can get out of as easily as we got into. Divorces occur everyday for almost any reason. People give no thought to God's precepts and attitude toward divorce.
God Hates Divorce
God expressed His attitude toward divorce very plainly in Malachi 2:16. "'For I hate divorce,' says the Lord, the God of Israel." We cannot misunderstand this. And we must let this sink in. It doesn't matter how common divorce is. It doesn't matter who you know that has been divorced. God hates divorce. [It is important to note that the context is about a divorce in which one deals "treacherously" against their spouse (v. 14). Though it can be argued that the principle extends beyond this, at least to some degree.]
Why does God hate divorce? First of all, it goes against His marriage law -- one man and one woman for life. This has been the rule since the beginning. This is why Jesus made His appeal to the beginning when He was questioned about divorce in Matthew 19:3. The Pharisees wondered if it was "lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?" Jesus answered their question by pointing them to the beginning. A man and woman were to "leave...father and mother and be joined to his wife" (v. 5). Romans 7:2-3 teaches us that God intends this relationship to last until death. When a divorce occurs, this intention is not realized.
A second reason why God hates divorce is that it demonstrates that one or both of the parties have disregarded His will. Again, God's intention for marriage is for it to last a lifetime. Whenever a divorce occurs, sin is present. It may be that both parties involved are guilty of sin in the breakup of the marriage. It's possible that one is innocent and has in no way contributed or consented to the divorce and the fault lies solely with the other spouse. Regardless, every divorce indicates the presence of sin, thus a disregard for God's will.
Another reason why God hates divorce is because it breaks up the home. The home is a fundamental institution that other things are built upon or are reliant upon. It is the foundation of society. The more prevalent divorce is, the more of a negative affect there is on society. But divorce also has an effect on the church. When Christians are involved, divorce upsets not only the unity in the home, but also the unity in the local church. Divorce causes strife and friction that extends beyond the couple who are separating.
But what about Scriptural divorces? First, what do we mean by a "Scriptural divorce"? This simply means a divorce that is authorized by God. God permits one to put away their bound mate for one reason -- fornication (Mt. 19:9). Even though God allows Scriptural divorces, they share some characteristics with the unscriptural divorces that God hates. Even in a Scriptural divorce, there is no longer the one man and one woman for life that God intended. There is also the fact that one has disregarded God will in committing sin -- fornication. It also breaks up the home. This affects those in the home, society, and in the case of Christians, the church. So even though God allows divorce for a certain cause, and the one who puts away their spouse for fornication commits no sin, God still hates divorce.
Using the Bible to Define "Putting Away"
One thing that is of vital importance in this issue is defining terms properly. Words mean things. But depending on their usage and context can mean different things. What does the Bible mean when it speaks of putting away?
The Greek word apoluo is the word that is translated "put away" or "divorce." Often when people hear the term divorce, they think of it in relation to our present society with its civil procedures and laws. This is not inherent in the meaning of the original Greek word. The word simply means, in relation to marriage, a rejection or repudiation of one's mate.
In order to demonstrate this, let's look at how the Greek word apoluo is used in the New Testament. This word is used many times in which it is translated as something other than "put away" or "divorce." We can learn a lot about the definition of apoluo by observing the various translations of the word. So let us list the different ways this word is translated. Note that all translations here are taken from the King James Version. Different versions may translate a few of these words differently, but this will certainly help us establish the meaning of apoluo.
- To put away -- translated this way 14 times (Mt. 1:19; 5:31, 32; 19:3, 7, 8, 9 [twice]; Mk. 10:2, 4, 11, 12; Lk. 16:18 [twice]). Every time this translation is used it is in reference to marriage.
- To divorce -- translated this way 1 time (Mt. 5:32). It is interesting, in spite of the common use of this term today, this is the only time the Greek word is so translated in the King James Version. It may also be interesting to note that the American Standard Version translates this word in this verse "put away," not "divorce."
- To send away -- translated this way 12 times (Mt. 14:15, 22, 23; 15:32, 39; Mk. 6:36, 45; 8:3, 9; Lk. 8:38; 9:12; Acts 13:3).
- To loose -- translated this way 2 times (Mt. 18:27; Lk. 13:12).
- To release -- translated this way 16 times (Mt. 27:15, 17, 26; Mk. 15:6, 9, 11, 15; Lk. 23:16, 17, 18, 20, 25; Jn. 18:39 [twice]; 19:10, 12).
- To let depart/let go -- translated this way 15 times (Lk. 2:29; 14:4; 22:68; 23:22; Jn. 19:12; Acts 3:13; 4:21, 23; 5:40; 15:33; 16:35, 36; 17:9; 23:22; 28:18).
- To forgive -- translated this way 2 times (Lk. 6:37 [twice]).
- To dismiss -- translated this way 2 times (Acts 15:30; 19:41).
- To set at liberty -- translated this way 2 times (Acts 26:32; Heb. 13:23).
- To depart -- translated this way 1 time (Acts 28:25).
What can we learn from the various translations of this Greek word? First of all, it should be clear that no civil procedure of any kind is inherent in the definition of the word. Jesus didn't need to file court papers in order to send the multitudes away (Mt. 14:22-23, and others). The Antioch church didn't need to obtain some sort of legal license to be able to send men out to preach (Acts 13:3). And one certainly doesn't need to go through man's judicial system in order to forgive their brother's sins (Lk. 6:37). Any who read Jesus teaching about putting away and automatically think of a legal process need to overcome this mental roadblock so their thinking will be more in harmony with Scripture.
We also get a picture from these translations as to what one does in putting away a mate. Again, no civil procedure is implied. So what is involved in the repudiation or rejection of a mate? A lot depends on the particular circumstance. If the spouse is still in the home, they can be sent away (Mt. 15:39) or dismissed (Acts 19:41). If they are in the home and refuse to leave, the other can depart (Acts 28:25). If they are wishing to leave, they can be set at liberty, or be freed to leave (Acts 26:32). The other spouse can let them go. Looking at these various translations helps us get a more comprehensive picture as to what the Greek word apoluo, translated as "put away" in reference to marriage, involves.
When people think of putting away, they usually think of "divorce." As was already stated, the use of this term often brings with it the connotation of a civil procedure and legal process. As we noticed, this is not implied by Scripture. As we have seen, the King James Version uses the English word "divorce" only once in translating apoluo. In contrast, the word is translated "to send away," "to release," and "to let depart" or "let go" a combined 43 times. Let's speak of Bible terms in Bible ways. Civil procedure is not implied by apoluo.
Accepting the Exception
Matthew 19 records an instance when a group of Pharisees came to Jesus to test Him. They did this on many occasions. This particular time, they asked Him about divorce (v. 3): "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?" Some believed that a man could put away his wife for just any reason. Others believed the only lawful cause for divorce was adultery. They wanted to see which side of the controversy Jesus would fall on.
Jesus, in answering their question, appealed to God's universal marriage law that was established "from the beginning" (v. 4). He explained that God's design for marriage was one man and one woman for life (v. 5). When two eligible people enter into this covenant, God would join them together (v. 6). This made the dissolution of the marriage bond out of man's hands. It could only be done by God, if and when His terms for severing the marriage bond were met.
So, "is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?" In essence, the answer Jesus gave was "no." This is not an absolute rule since there was an exception given. But generally speaking, it is not lawful for a man to put away his wife and remarry. So we find a rule established by this truth. Remarriage following a divorce constitutes adultery (Mt. 19:9). This teaching is plain. Man cannot change this divine rule. The only thing that can change this divinely given rule is a divinely given exception. Jesus gave such an exception -- "except for immorality (fornication, KJV)." When fornication occurs, the conditions of the exception are met so the rule may be revoked. Again, this is done by God, not man. A divinely given rule can only be negated by a divinely given exception.
When we look at the exception that allows one to remarry following divorce, we see by way of inference another divinely given rule. A man may put away his wife for fornication and remarry without committing adultery. Jesus teaches this by implication in Matthew 19:9. This rule is established by the exception clause to His divorce law.
As I've stated, God's rules can only be nullified by an exception He has given. A rule is absolute when an exception is not given. God's rule that remarriage following divorce constitutes adultery is not absolute since there are exceptions given (Mt. 19:9; Rom. 7:2-3). The fact that this law is not absolute does not lessen the weight of it to any degree. If His exceptions are not met, His rule remains firm.
But the rule derived from the exception is different. This rule states that one may put away their spouse for fornication and remarry without committing adultery. It is absolute because God has given no exception to it. Again, a divinely given rule can only be negated by a divinely given exception. The innocent spouse may put away their mate for fornication and remarry. Scripture gives no exception to this rule.
Summary
The Bible is very clear when it comes to God's law about divorce. God hates divorce (Mal. 2:16). It goes against His intention for marriage and has a negative affect on other institutions He has established. God has given one cause that gives one the permission to put away their spouse and remarry -- fornication (Mt. 19:9). God's law regarding divorce is simple. One may put away their mate for fornication and remarry without committing adultery.
